Anxiety.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6) "

Anxious Christians are bad advertisements for the God of all comforts. But 'not being anxious' doesn't come without the sweat of faith . . . Really, prayer and worry are of the same essence. They are both a rehearsing of circumstances, a mulling over, and a kind of mental and emotional chewing. But in worry, there's no connection, no traction, no relational receiver. It's like spinning our wheels. Worrying is like trying to travel in a rocking chair. But when we 'pray', we are 'worrying' to God. We take those anxieties and cast them Godward, taking them to Him, and -- of utmost importance -- handing them over." - Matt Chandler

Amen, right? Anxiety is something that I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. When I saw this shared here this week, it really struck a cord with me. I had a terrible dream last night which I don't often have because I'm pretty protective of my mind. I grew up watching "Unsolved Mysteries" and Lifetime, but as an adult I have tried not to watch anything like that because it creates unnecessary fear. As a mama those thoughts become magnified. This morning shook me to the core. I woke up wanting to delete this entire thing and get off all social media. The world (and people in it) can be frightening, but I truly feel that God wants to use this hobby for His good. I pray that this is the case. With Matilda starting school and a few odd happenings, I've been on high alert with worry.

Some interesting things happened this morning. I've had this feeling that God has wanted me to give up coffee (sigh) and "feeling" doesn't really do this justice. I've actually been completely convicted but have prayed for it not to be so and have continued to drink it (sigh). This morning after literally years of undiagnosed issues with my ears and other skin related problems, I finally have some answers. I also found that one of the things I should be abstaining from is... YOU GUESSED IT. I have a feeling it has been triggering some anxiety as well. I feel like I need a support group for this, but I am so thankful that God led me down a rabbit hole to find these answers. He's so good!

All these rambling, personal thoughts to share that I'm so thankful that God doesn't give up on us. That He continues to pursue us, to give us guides even on earth. It's truly amazing. I'm so thankful and excited to share more of my journey towards health and hope that I can inspire even just one person to join me. You can follow along here!

photo credit: Emily Magers

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