The Trenches
It could be because school has been out more than it has been in this year, but the running theme amongst my mom friends is that we're tired. The days start early with little to no breaks until bedtime, the dishes and laundry are piled and there aren't enough hours in the day to get things done. The end of the day leaves us wiped out, nothing left to give our husbands, overwhelmed. I want this post to be uplifting and to not reek of complaining but the truth is when you have tiny kids, as much joy as they bring (and truly it's a lot!), it's also hard. This is a post to not necessarily lift other moms up but to say "I hear ya. I feel ya." Some call it the trenches, others the weeds but whatever you call this season, the days are long. Yesterday was one of those days where I really felt like I might just lay down in the fetal position. Phoebe cried all afternoon for no apparent reason and Matilda was running the show, "Mommy your hair looks crazy." I cleaned up caked food off babies and floors all day long. I fished poop out of the bath (aren't you glad you're reading this post?!), I wiped noses more times than I could count. I felt certifiable, bewildered.
We went to our weekly small group last night (there are six married couples - all with babies or small kids) and let me tell you... there is comfort in solidarity. Listening to everyone else talk about their days and lives was a great comfort to me. Sometimes I can feel very alone in my day to day. I struggle to pursue a career (can you call this a career?) and to still be present and there for my babies. I truly want it all but the truth is, there's always a price that comes with everything. Our leader said something that rang very true for me that he had heard in a sermon, "You have to lose to win." It's true. You have to let go of some things to win at others. We are reading this book and discussing it. As an exercise we broke off into couples and talked about four things: 1. Finances - where we are at and where we'd like to be 2. Our sex lives (oh boy) 3. Forgotten Dreams and 4. Our adventure - how is it going? Just a fun way to touch base with your partner during the craziness of day to day because it is so easy to fill days with children and busyness and lose your connection which is ultimately the glue for your family.
I took these photos on my phone today during ballet. Phoebe got hysterical so I let her out of the carrier (which had already replaced the stroller) and just let her go free. She was everywhere. I think I officially need to baby proof my life. Ha! She is taking little steps here and there and yesterday she walked with both of her palms on the wall, back and forth. I know my life won't always be this wild and crazy. I can already feel a shift. That morning nap is being replaced by an after lunch nap. I'll be able to put my littlest one in mother's morning out to give me a bit to get things done and I know that there's a calm(er) time ahead. I look at my super self sufficient Matilda and breathe knowing that there will be a time where we can just snuggle and watch movies on cold days. For now I'm going to try to embrace the crazy, all I ask is that you don't tell me to "enjoy this time" if you've already made your way through it. All I want to hear is, "I know" and "it will get easier." K thanks. ;)
I really enjoyed reading this yesterday.
twitter/ facebook/ pinterest/ instagram/ bloglovin'